


(Don't) Say the Words

by Takara_Phoenix



Series: Phoe's Writer's Month 2019 [16]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is a good parabatai, First Words Spoken, Hurt/Comfort, Jace Feels, M/M, Misunderstanding, Pining, Slash, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Writer's Month 2019, and a good friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 02:50:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20268805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takara_Phoenix/pseuds/Takara_Phoenix
Summary: Everybody had the first words their soulmate would ever speak to them written on their body somewhere. Magnus Bane grew up eagerly waiting to hear his. Jace Wayland grew up dreading to hear his.





	(Don't) Say the Words

Jagnus || Shadowhunters || Jagnus || (Don't) Say the Words || Jagnus || Shadowhunters || Jagnus

Title: (Don't) Say the Words – Writer's Month

Fandom: Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments

Disclaimer: All rights to the Shadowhunters show reserved to Ed Decter, the books the show is based off and its characters belong to Cassandra Clare. This fanfiction on the other hand is entirely mine. No money is made with this, though reviews are more than welcomed.

Warnings: m/m, hurt/comfort, soulmate AU, misunderstanding, pining, f/f

Main Pairing: Magnus/Jace

Side Pairings: Bat/Alec, Lydia/Isabelle

Shadowhunters Characters: Jonathan Christopher 'Jace' Herondale, Magnus Bane, Alexander 'Alec' Lightwood, Isabelle 'Izzy' Lightwood, Lydia Branwell

Summary: _Writer's Month prompt: soulmates_

Everybody had the first words their soulmate would ever speak to them written on their body somewhere. Magnus Bane grew up eagerly waiting to hear his. Jace Wayland grew up dreading to hear his.

**(Don't) Say the Words**

_Writer's Month_

_~*~ You got a spare room? ~*~_

Magnus smiled as he traced the words on his wrist. He knew the words had shaped him as a person. Those were the words his soulmate was going to speak to him when they would first meet. Growing up with these words on his wrist, Magnus had always been generous. He had always been welcoming of others and, once he was older, he made sure to live in large places with plenty of spare bedrooms and he started to throw dazzling parties, always having a bed for those too drunk to be on their merry way. The dream was that Magnus would meet someone amazing and stunning, they would dance with each other but not have the chance to talk just yet and, when the party came to an end and it was too late and dark to go, they would ask Magnus for a room. And Magnus would have a room, welcome his soulmate into his home.

Yes, Magnus was a hopeless romantic. He loved love. Which was a problem. Even knowing that he had his soulmate waiting for him, he occasionally fell for someone to some degree. He could never truly give his heart, but he grew attached to the level that he let it hurt him. The more time passed without him finding his soulmate, the more desperate he grew. He started to think that maybe, he would never meet his soulmate. He attempted to settle down with Camille, who didn't believe in soulmates, thought he could be happy, truly happy, for decades or centuries – who knew how long it might be until he met his soulmate. But... that too took a bad turn.

Magnus was left to pick up the pieces of his heart alone and he wondered when his soulmate would finally come around to help him heal. All Magnus wanted was to _hold_ and _love_ his soulmate.

/break\

Jace was tense as they stood in the lair of the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Isabelle and Clary had gone to deliver the jewelry to Magnus Bane, trying to interest him in helping them get back Clary's memories. Then they were attacked and had to fight, ending with Bane transporting them to a secondary location. All of that made Jace tense. Ever since Clary Fray had stumbled into their life with her little mundie soulmate, things kept not going according to plan. Jace stood with Alec, talking about their future plans while Clary was talking to Magnus.

"Pretty boy, ready your team", called Magnus out, turned toward the parabatai.

Alec made a face and nudged him, making Jace sigh before he walked up to the warlock. Guess the High Warlock was in charge now, huh? Before he could pass Magnus, the warlock rested a firm hand against Jace's chest and effectively stopped him, one eyebrow raised.

"I'm not talking to you", stated Magnus, intense eyes boring into Jace's before he turned to smile charmingly at Alec. "I'm talking to _you_."

It knocked the air right out of Jace's lungs. _I'm not talking to you_. The words echoed in Jace's _heart_. Bouncing around inside of him, growing louder, making his skin tingle in five different ways. These were his words. The words he had always anticipated and dreaded. The words Alec had spent years telling Jace would mean something different. All his life, Jace had stared at them.

All his life, he had _dreaded_ them. They weren't positive words, after all. He had always wondered in what context they would be spoken. His father had told him what they meant. That they meant his soulmate didn't want him, told him Jace wouldn't need such a soulmate anyway. He would be better off without a soulmate, that was his father's teaching. Because he wasn't wanted by his soulmate. For years and years, all his childhood, Michael had told him he wasn't wanted by his soulmate.

Alec had spent the past ten years trying to convince Jace that it wasn't that bad, that he didn't know the _context_ of the words – and that they were just words. They meant little. This person was his _soulmate_, they were going to love Jace like _no one ever had_ – not... that the bar for that was very high, considering the person who loved Jace most was his parabatai and the circle of people who loved him was so small, he literally could count them on one hand.

But somehow, this dismissal from his soulmate... still hurt. Even though he had always anticipated it. Yet in all this time, Jace had never expected this _context_. The words considered, Jace had thought that his conversation skills weren't good enough for his soulmate, maybe he was too dumb for his soulmate. But his _looks_? All these years, Jace had been very confident in them, determined that if his mind wasn't what his soulmate found attractive, he could at least draw them in with his looks.

_~*~ I'm not talking to you. ~*~_

/break\

"You should tell him, Jace", sighed Alec.

"Why?", muttered Jace stubbornly, pacing in front of his parabatai. "He seems more interested in _you_ than in _me_, hasn't even spoken to me again since."

Alec heaved another sigh and rubbed his face. "First of all, I am waiting for my own soulmate. I'm not going to start dating yours. Don't be a dickhead."

"You two done with your important parabatai conversation and ready to help me plan my wedding?", asked Isabelle pointedly as she knocked on Jace's door. "Or, ready to share whatever it is you two have been whispering about for days now...? Anyone? No?"

Jace gritted his teeth and turned away from his sister. He didn't want her to know that Magnus Bane was his soulmate. He didn't want _anyone_ to know. Not even Alec, preferably. However, his parabatai knew of Jace's words and he had stood close enough to hear Magnus say them and had seen the fraction of a reaction on Jace's face before the blonde had managed to cover them up. Isabelle, thankfully, had been too distracted with Clary to hear Magnus say it.

"Just planning your bachelorette party, sis", offered Jace with a teasing smirk.

Isabelle smiled, even though she clearly knew he was lying. A few days ago, Isabelle's soulmate had been dropped in their laps by the Clave. Sent to take control from the Lightwoods, yet when Lydia Branwell first spoke to Isabelle, they exchanged their fated words – and with that, plans changed. Maryse and Robert saw an opportunity; the Branwell family was highly respected, Lydia was a high-ranking member of the Clave. They quickly arranged the wedding, to have Isabelle rule the Institute at the side of her soulmate so the Lightwoods would keep control of the Institute even though they _technically_ gave it to the envoy from the Clave. It was clever, Jace had to admit.

And since Isabelle had dreamed and fantasized about meeting her soulmate for so many years now, had planned the ideal wedding and future, Isabelle was more than on board with those plans. She knew her soulmate was the one person who would love her like no one else, the one person who was entirely _hers_. Jace... envied that way of thinking, that optimism.

He was too cynical, had been raised that way. But he would be damned to open his mouth in front of Isabelle and ruin her happiness, because good for her to still believe in fairy tales like this.

/break\

"I feel... flattered by your... flirting, but... I'm not interested. I'm waiting for my soulmate."

Magnus smiled thinly and nodded before he made a dismissive gesture. "I understand that. Still, I have always been someone who appreciates... the finer things in life."

He offered a teasing wink which effectively made Alec blush. In all honesty, Magnus had mainly started flirting with Alec because it was fun to mess with both Shadowhunters. The blonde pretty boy knew _exactly_ that he was gorgeous and it was always fun to take overly confident people down a peck, while Alec clearly _wasn't_ very confident in his looks, or used to compliments. With one teasing comment, he had effectively messed with both their heads. A warlock had to be allowed a bit of fun too, after all, right? Granted, ideally he would have gotten a one-night-stand or maybe even a date out of it with Alec – he was a handsome one. But Magnus could respect someone waiting for their soulmate and he also saw just how _uncomfortable_ the flirting had made Alec.

"We could... be friends though", offered Alec softly.

"I'd like that very much", smiled Magnus and summoned cocktails for them both.

Alec's phone buzzed and he sighed, though instead of checking, he accepted the cocktail. "Thanks."

"No important business at the Institute?", inquired Magnus curiously.

The two of them headed out onto the balcony to sit and talk. "No. Izzy is throwing a fuss about her wedding, honestly I'm glad to dodge her for a little while. She is turning into what the mundie has started calling 'Bridezilla'. Thankfully, Fray seems more than happy to help."

"Not too fond of your newest little add-ons?", guessed Magnus amused.

"Fray keeps doing whatever she wants", groaned Alec and nearly emptied his cocktail in one go. "I have both hands full trying to manage Jace already, I don't need _another_ wild-card. And one who doesn't listen to authority _at all_, at that. The mundie is just annoying, that's all. But she... she drives me crazy. I'm glad Izzy and Jace took to her and take her off my hands most, but..."

That made Magnus laugh, before he paused. "That parabatai of yours, he's reckless?"

Something flickered over Alec's face at the mention of Jace, though Magnus didn't know what it was. The next moment, Alec cleared his throat and took another drink from his cocktail. When he next looked up at Magnus, whatever expression had been there was gone.

"You... could say that", started Alec reluctantly. "It's a different kind of recklessness though. Jace _knows_ the rules. He makes a... calculated decision on what rules to break. And when he's being reckless, he... is usually just being reckless with his own life – which is _not good_, and I am the loudest about it, but also he only risks himself. Fray keeps risking _him_ and the rules she breaks she breaks because she _doesn't know them_ and doesn't seem to care to know them."

"You worry a lot about your parabatai", noted Magnus fondly.

"Of course", huffed Alec defensively. "He _is_ my parabatai, after all."

"I suggest you put Clarissa through thorough training then", offered Magnus.

"What? What does that have to do with anything?", asked Alec startled.

"You care about your parabatai. Your parabatai cares about her and she keeps dragging him into danger with her recklessness, as you put it. The logical conclusion would be to train Clarissa in fight as well as politics and rules", supplied Magnus casually.

"...I suppose you're right", sighed Alec and rubbed his face. "She is missing years of training. Better get onto that as soon as possible to avoid a bigger disaster, huh."

Alec grumbled and emptied his glass fully, sighing and stretching out. Magnus smiled as he watched the Shadowhunter relax. Alec seemed very wound-up, at all times. From what Magnus had seen, it might just be what made the parabatai work. Where Jace was too reckless, Alec was too cautious. Those two Shadowhunters could be quite amusing to watch, on the long run.

/break\

Things happened rather quickly after that. The wedding took place, both brides were absolutely stunning. The Mortal Cup was stolen by Hodge during the wedding and in the aftermath of it all, Jace was stolen by Valentine. Magnus was left staring at the blonde as he willingly chose to go with his abuser just to keep his friends safe. And yes, that was another thing that had happened. Valentine Morgenstern was not just alive, he was revealed to having posed as Michael Wayland – raising Jace himself. Jace, who turned out to be Valentine's son and Clary's brother.

Magnus' heart ached at the thought. He may not know Jace – while he had grown to befriend Alec already, somehow the blonde seemed to always dodge him and be busy otherwise, curiously enough – yet Magnus knew how much a bad father could shape a young man. He also knew that the scars of childhood never quite healed. Magnus had heard some stories from Alec, the Shadowhunter being so devastated over Jace's abduction, feeling helpless and not knowing who to turn to that he had sought Magnus out. Apparently, Jace had seen his father die – Valentine had faked his death, effectively traumatizing a ten year old child – and that after years of abuse. Alexander was justifiably concerned what Valentine would do to Jace now.

"Alec", started Lydia seriously, reaching a hand out for her brother-in-law. "We'll find him."

"You've been saying that for the past three days now", growled Alec.

"Hey. Don't talk to my wife like that", chided Isabelle with a glare. "It's not her fault Jace got abducted and she's been working just as hard as the rest of us trying to find him. Even _you_ can't track him with the parabatai rune, Valentine has been shielding him from us."

Isabelle took Lydia's hand as she stared at her brother pointedly. Pointedly but with a soft, pitiful edge. She _knew_ Alec didn't mean to lash out, knew it was pure despair from Alec. It had been three days and with every day, Alec seemed to grow more frantic. Isabelle was concerned for her brother too, but for one she didn't have the parabatai-bond to strengthen that feeling of loss and despair, and for another Isabelle had her soulmate to console her. Alec hadn't met his yet.

"Alexander", tried Magnus gently. "We _will_ find him. I'll do anything I can to help."

"Thank... Thank you. You have no idea how much that means", whispered Alec.

/break\

"How are you doing, Alexander?", inquired Magnus while handing Alec a cocktail.

Alec heaved a sigh and sat down on the couch. "I'm better, thank you again for your help."

"I don't mean physically. I know you nearly died, but I mean how you're dealing with your parabatai being taken again", corrected Magnus, his eyebrows raised.

"I want to punch Aldertree in the face", offered Alec dryly. "I... I'm glad he's back again, but... that the Clave took him, after... Like he's some _traitor_. He was abducted and _tortured_!"

Magnus winced at that. Yes, he had seen the poor thing. Jace had come stumbling into the loft, eyes unfocused, cuts and blood all over, soaking wet to the bone. It was the look in his eyes though that had gotten to Magnus. The pure anguish and despair as he stared at Magnus, like Magnus held Jace's entire world, as though Magnus had the solution to every problem. And there was more than that, he saw the haunted look, the pain and suffering from what he had just gone through.

"But he's back now. He's safe now", tried Magnus.

"He's not... He's not entirely safe", muttered Alec frustrated. "Aldertree is pushing him around and I just... I just want him to leave Jace alone, but he keeps pushing _and pushing_ like he's trying to... break Jace. Because he doesn't want Valentine's son at the Institute. But Jace has _always_ been at the Institute, he _belongs_ there. It's Aldertree who doesn't." Alec took a ragged breath and looked at Magnus in despair. "Jace can't be blamed for who his _father_ is. Jace can't be blamed for how much that man _abused_ him. He... He deserved a _break_."

"You're absolutely right", agreed Magnus, hearing the familiarity of those words.

For so long he had fought his own blood, own heritage. His own _father_. It was strange just how much of himself he was seeing in the blonde Shadowhunter and how strongly he was feeling about this. In an odd sense, Magnus really wanted to give the poor thing a hug and a cookie.

A knocking on the door interrupted their conversation and prompted Magnus to get up. "Just a moment, Alexander. I am... not expecting anyone though."

From the couch, Alec raised an eyebrow and watched while Magnus went to open the door. He raised his eyebrows in surprise when he came face to face with Jace Wayland himself. The blonde stood there, with a bag in hand, shifting around a little. He tilted his head to look up at Magnus from beneath long lashes. Magnus hadn't noticed it before. The heterochromia. Those intense, blue eyes, but that speck of gold in the left one. They were quite breathtaking, really.

"You got a spare room?"

Jace's voice was raw, throat still hurt from the water-boarding and nearly drowning. That wasn't it though. It were the words spoken. Magnus' entire body tingled, making him shudder in the most pleasant way. It felt like a sparkle, if one could_ feel_ sparkling. It was like a song sung to his heart, his soul reacting to it, being drawn to the one singing his song. Magnus' entire face brightened.

"You-", started Magnus, voice shaking.

"I got nowhere else to go. I don't... know what to do. I can't stay there. The past few days... I can't endure any more of Aldertree, I just... can't", sighed Jace desperately. "_Please_."

Magnus nodded hastily, just staring in awe at _his soulmate_. Now that the words had been spoken, there seemed to be a glow around Jace. No, there _was_ a glow. The magic of a forming soul-bond. Golden light emitting from Jace, lapping at him like an extra aura. Magnus couldn't help to reach out to cup Jace's cheek, too enchanted, too much in awe to even think. Jace flinched away.

"Ah. I'm sorry. After everything you've been through", whispered Magnus, eyes soft. "Come, let's get you settled in. You look awful. You need some rest. Come with me."

He had so many questions, there were so many things he had always dreamed of saying to his soulmate. But he had waited so long already, he was not going to push Jace now. Clearly the boy was still incredibly traumatized from the torture and abduction and the hazing at the hands of his own boss. From the looks of it, he hadn't slept in at least a week, which might actually check out considering the imprisonment on the Morning Star and then the imprisonment in the City of Bones.

"There you go", offered Magnus with a wave of his hand.

He took the spare room that was the closest to Magnus' bedroom and with a little additional magic upgraded it some. Only the best for his soulmate after all. Jace turned to look at him, wary but hopeful, managing just a small nod before heading inside.

"...Thank you", whispered Jace.

"Rest some", advised Magnus gently.

He closed the door and for a moment, he closed his eyes and leaned against it, a large, soft smile on his lips. Only then did something strike him as odd. Jace had displayed no surprise, no sign that he noticed the soul-bond forming. No recognition at any of Magnus' words. With furrowed brows did Magnus return to the living room, wondering what was going on.

"You probably have a lot of questions", sighed Alec when he saw the look on Magnus' face.

"What do you-", started Magnus before he paused. "...You _knew_. You knew before I did. Wait. _He_ knew. Yes, Alexander, I do have a lot of questions."

While Magnus crossed his arms over his chest, Alec seemed to fold in on himself a little. "In my own defense, I have been pushing Jace to tell you the truth for months now."

Magnus did not look impressed by that, simply standing silently in front of Alec and waiting for him to continue. "And in Jace's defense... He was raised by Valentine Morgenstern."

"What... do you mean?", asked Magnus carefully, dreading the answer.

"Valentine, posing as Michael Wayland, he raised Jace to believe that he didn't _need_ a soulmate. More so, he... made Jace believe that his soulmate _didn't need him_", replied Alec, wringing his hands. "Magnus, do you remember... your first words to Jace?"

"Admittedly... no", confessed Magnus with a thoughtful frown.

"I'm not talking to you", stated Alec softly. "We were at your loft and you called... me... a pretty boy and told me to do something. Jace reacted immediately, but you stopped him and told him you're not talking to him. Those were your first words to your soulmate."

"...Oh", whispered Magnus softly and furrowed his eyebrows. "I didn't... I was only _teasing_."

"I know you didn't mean to make it sound like a rejection. You didn't even know he was your soulmate when you spoke to him", assured Alec with a sigh. "_I_ know that. But Jace, who grew up with those words had spent all his life wondering what they were and _Valentine_ twisted them, convinced Jace that they _are_ words of rejection. Jace was just... an impressionable child and Valentine was literally the _only_ influence he had and Valentine _twisted_ what soulmates are."

Magnus felt sick to his stomach and slowly sat down on the couch. Of course. Of course would Valentine, who had emotionally manipulated Jace all of his life and didn't hesitate to _torture_ his own son, stoop as low as using Jace's soulmate against him. Covering his mouth with one hand, Magnus tried to take deep, slow breaths to calm himself down.

"I always tried to tell him that he didn't know the context, that the words were still his soulmate's and that his soulmate would _always_ love him, because... that's what soulmates do. But when you actually said them...", started Alec tentatively before pausing. "I _know_ you didn't mean them like that, but... Jace spent his life interpreting them to mean that he wasn't your _intellectual_ equal, that you didn't want to speak to him. That's... why he put so much effort into his physical appearance. Because he thought that way he would have something to... draw your attention with. And when you... dismissed him in favor of me, it... felt like a rejection. Like a confirmation of everything Valentine taught him. I know that wasn't your intention, but I need you to understand _why_ Jace acted the way he did, why he avoided you, why he never spoke to you. I need you to understand it, because if you don't understand it and feel hurt by his behavior and also avoid him, things will just turn ugly and... and you, _both_ of you, deserve to be happy."

"I...", started Magnus, feeling oddly touched by that.

"I have to admit that I first came to you with... that in mind. The fact that you're Jace's soulmate. I wanted to get to know you so I could... protect my parabatai and help him. But I like you, Magnus. I genuinely like you and I think that you deserve happiness too", stated Alec honestly.

"What... do I do?", asked Magnus softly. "How do I... make him trust me?"

"Think of him... as a wounded animal", offered Alec reluctantly after a moment. "And don't tell him I said that. But he's currently backed into a corner. I... I am genuinely amazed that he came here on his own. That must mean something, even in all of his denial, he seems to know that if push comes to shove, he _can_ trust you. Still, be careful. Don't push him. For now, just... provide him with a safe place to sleep and food. Keep your... distance. Not... entirely. What I mean is, don't push him, give him time to get used to this and to you first until he comes to you."

"That... sounds like something I can do", nodded Magnus slowly. "Yes. Okay. Thank you."

/break\

Jace woke up feeling warm, content and well-rested. That... was oddly normal these days. Ever since he had moved in with Magnus. The loft was comfortable and the bed and sheets were incredibly high quality. Food too. Magnus only had the best of the best of _everything_. And then there was the whole safety-thing. There was no safer place than the loft of the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Magnus was the most powerful warlock in all of New York. Here, behind the wards, Jace _knew_ that he was safe. Safe from Valentine, safe from Aldertree. Jace had been living here for a few weeks now and he had gotten... cozy. He loved living here, not just because of all the admittedly luxurious things the loft had to offer. He... also really enjoyed Magnus' company.

The two of them hadn't talked much for the first week. Then again, Jace hadn't left his bedroom much in the first week. Mainly, he stayed in his bed, he had slept for nearly three days full, catching up with all the sleep he had missed while being tortured. Then more bed-rest to fully heal. Maybe he was also _hiding_ from the world, who knew. It was exhausting, _everything_ was.

When after a week he had barely left his room, Magnus had come in and voiced his concerns. It had annoyed Jace. Jace was _fine_. He didn't need help. Magnus told him that he might, because he wasn't indestructible. He had gone through a lot and just like his physical wounds, his mental ones would have to heal too. Magnus kept giving Jace the silent, worried eyes for a whole week before Jace caved. Magnus gave him the number of a Catarina Loss, a warlock friend of his and nurse at a hospital. She knew a warlock psychiatrist. Jace had scoffed at that.

The only reason he went was because he felt like he owed Magnus something. He had... deliberately kept their soul-bond from the warlock for months and then just showed up and admitted to it when _he_ needed something. Jace was aware what a dick-move all of that had been, regardless of how hurt he himself had felt by his soulmate. So Jace reluctantly went to therapy.

Therapy was... good. At the latest after Max' rune party, when all the rejection from Maryse and Robert had caught up with him. That, the harmful bad things Maryse had said about him to Alec – that he was a cancer and needed to be cut out. All of this, on top of the fact that his childhood abuser (and wow. It had been a huge step for Jace to actually admit that, even just to himself) had returned, that he had been shunned from the only home he had ever known. The whole soulmate-situation was just the cherry on top of a very distressing sundae.

And along the way, new bad things just _kept happening_. Jonathan Morgenstern was still alive. Jace wasn't even Valentine's biological son. He wasn't Clary's brother. He was left without an _identity_.

After getting up, Jace headed outside onto the balcony. He loved the balcony. He loved curling up on the couch in the sun, surrounded by the fluffy cats and just petting them while relaxing. He knew he would be close to breaking under all the things he had been through in recent months and he knew that therapy actually helped him deal with it, handle it. He had... learned so much about himself in the past months thanks to the professional help.

Just because Maryse had been cheated on by her husband did not excuse her behavior. Jace was worth more than being kicked while on the ground. He no longer needed to desperately latch onto toxic people and try to please abusive parents. He had been through that enough. There were people in his life now who really, truly, _genuinely_ cared about him and didn't see him as something to be tossed aside when no longer useful, like Valentine and the Lightwood parents had.

Alec, Isabelle, Clary, Lydia, Magnus, even the annoying mundie-turned-vampire had kind of become Jace's friend at this point, Catarina too (the two had grown closer through chatting whenever Jace went to the hospital for his sessions and then they met whenever Catarina visited the loft for drinks with Magnus and somehow Jace had started joining those), Luke had tried to be a father to him while believing him to be Clary's brother and unlike other parental figures in Jace's life, Luke didn't just toss him aside after it was revealed that they weren't related.

Those were all things Jace had to learn. He had to learn _his own self-value_. That seemed... so very basic, yet it was something Jace had never learned. He always linked his own worth to the approval of his parental figures. That was not healthy, especially at the current lack of parental figures.

Jace was doing... good. He had worked through a lot of issues, he had started seeing himself as more than just a soldier, or a pretty boy – the only other thing he had allowed himself.

"Do you _own_ shirts, or are you inexplicably allergic to wearing them outside of work?"

Blinking a couple times, Jace shook himself out of his musings to focus on the now. Magnus had just exited the loft, wearing an elegant robe and holding two cups. He had one eyebrow raised as he regarded Jace – very _thoroughly_ regarded Jace. Grinning impishly, Jace leaned back, arms over the back-rest, showing off a little bit. Magnus sighed and shook his head before joining Jace.

"It's hot. There's no reason to layer up", huffed Jace.

With a pointed eye-roll did Magnus hand a cup over to Jace. Sighing contently, Jace sniffed it. Chocolate with cinnamon and vanilla ice-cream. Magnus made an amazing ice-chocolate.

"How are you holding up, sweetheart?", asked Magnus gently.

Jace paused, unsure how to answer that. "I mean, I guess I'm a Herondale now. Whatever that means. That... brief hope I had of meeting my... parents... got drowned again."

Magnus eyed him, concern evident in his intense eyes, so Jace decided to change the subject. "What about _you_? How are you holding up...? Made an appointment with Doctor Grey yet?"

"I don't need a psychiatrist", chuckled Magnus, sounding nearly fond.

"Mag...", started Jace slowly. "You were body-switched with my fa—with Valentine. And in his body, you were _tortured_. There's this super nagging warlock who told me, after I got tortured, that I should seek help to deal with that trauma. I know... what they did with you. They made you relive your worst memories. You're eight hundred years old, I can't even begin what would qualify there for you. You've... been spacing out a lot since then, you've been eating less and _drinking_ more."

Magnus furrowed his eyebrows, clearly annoyed that his roommate had picked up on his drinking habit. "...Fair enough. How did I ever end up with such a snarky little soulmate?"

There was a teasing note to his voice, but he also looked incredibly... happy? Like it pleased him that Jace was looking out for him. The blonde frowned at that and turned away to focus on the cats instead, paying attention to the one that had just climbed onto his lap.

"...Why do you never never bring it up?", asked Jace after a stretch of silence, sounding genuinely troubled by this. "You... call me _that_ every now and again, but you never actually brought it up in a real, actual... conversation. About what I did... and didn't do."

"Are you ready to talk about it?", inquired Magnus curiously.

"...No", admitted Jace after a moment and shook his head.

"Then you have your answer right there", replied Magnus. "I have... waited _centuries_ to find you, Jace. And I finally have you, right here. Even living with me. I'm not... going to push you away by asking too much too soon. I can wait some longer, until you're ready. I know you're getting there. I see it every day, how you're opening up a little more, how you're... growing more comfortable in your own skin, because you're finally accepting help. I would much rather wait a little longer, be that weeks or months, and have a genuine conversation with you than force you to talk about something you're not ready for and have you retreat into yourself again."

Jace looked surprised at that and even more surprised at the warmth filling his heart. "...Okay."

"How about for now, we have breakfast?", suggested Magnus lightly.

/break\

Killing Jonathan was hard and easy at the same time, somehow. It was straining and also relieving. It was... _confusing_. The body went over the bridge and, if not for Magnus being right there and opening a portal half-way down to the water, Jonathan might have been lost to the stream.

"You look awful, puppy", noted Magnus as he approached Jace.

"I _feel_ awful. I just killed my evil twin", muttered Jace, half collapsing into Magnus.

The warlock seemed surprised, but gladly caught Jace in his arms before opening a portal for them and the rest of the team to follow Jonathan's body back to the Institute where everybody was getting checked up. Alec was entirely distracted though – and Jace couldn't hold it against him. Luke had offered the help of the entire pack, including the pack's newest member. Bat Velasquez. Bat, who had screamed _Handsome duck!_ during the battle earlier. The most ridiculous first words Jace had ever seen and about which Jace had been teasing Alec for years now, while Isabelle always wondered what a handsome duck looked like. Now they knew. Alec was the handsome one and he had been supposed to duck. Alas, he of course did not duck because he was frozen from the sensation of feeling the soul-bond first form. He got hit in the back of his head and was now being brought into the infirmary, together with Jace himself, both accompanied by their soulmates.

"Wow. You know, when I got bitten by a werewolf, I thought that my stay in New York would be absolutely regretful and like a total disaster. I _never_ expected to find my soulmate here. And you're _so_ handsome. And... ridiculously tall", rambled Bat, radiating excitement.

"So, that answers _that_ question", stated Lydia surprised. "Your soulmate, huh?"

She turned to look at Alec, who was just blushing incredibly brightly. "A... Apparently."

"His name is Alec, by the way. So you don't have to continue calling him 'handsome'", offered Jace.

He grinned teasingly, nudging his parabatai. Alec just blushed harder, especially when Bat's entire face lit up as he smiled up at Alec. Jace's own smile dimmed when he watched them. He took his place on one of the infirmary beds and turned to look over at Lydia and Isabelle. The two were debriefing with Luke and Underhill, Lydia having a hand resting on Isabelle's arm. It was such a simple contact, but it seemed to mean so much for them. Jace's throat felt tight.

"Adorable those two", commented Magnus from where he was sitting right next to Jace.

Nearly naturally had Magnus found his place there, as though that really was _his_ place. Right next to Jace, especially when Jace was hurt. Somehow, Jace's throat felt even tighter. His eyes strayed to look at Bat and Alec, standing close together, Bat holding Alec's hand while talking animatedly and smiling so brightly. All Alec could do was stare at his soulmate in total awe. Then there were Lydia and Isabelle, staying so close and seeming so intimately familiar with each other.

"Hey? You still with me, sweetheart?", asked Magnus gently, taking his hand.

Jace jumped slightly at the sudden contact, at the warmth of Magnus' touch. His eyes found their hands and nearly immediately did Magnus let go. There was sadness and longing in Magnus' eyes.

"No", muttered Jace frustrated. "I didn't... I didn't jump because I don't want you to hold my hand. I was just... startled. For a moment. Because I was... in thought."

Magnus regarded him curiously for a moment. "So... you _want_ me to hold your hand?"

Jace's cheeks heated up as he nodded, avoiding Magnus' eyes. "I... wouldn't mind that, yeah."

The smile Magnus offered him was absolutely blinding and made Jace's heart skip a beat. Magnus linked their fingers, resting his other hand on top of Jace's, holding it tight and safe. It was... anchoring. Grounding. Like it belonged there, in Jace's hand.

"I didn't tell you because I was scared", whispered Jace after a beat.

"Didn't tell me what? Oh, what reckless thing did you do this time?", asked Magnus confused.

"No, not that. That we're... That we're soulmates", corrected Jace.

The room got oddly quiet as Lydia, Isabelle, Bat and Alec stared. Jace? He didn't even notice. In that moment, all he could think of was his soulmate next to him. While Isabelle looked as though she wanted to eavesdrop, Alec started to herd the others out of the room to give them privacy.

"That's... the first time you called us that", whispered Magnus, voice breaking a little.

"I'm sorry", sighed Jace, turning fully toward Magnus. "I'm sorry I hid it from you. I'm sorry I've been keeping you at arm's length, but Valentine raised me to... hate you. I spent the first ten years of my life being raised to _hate_ my soulmate because my soulmate wouldn't want me, why should you. And then I met you and I thought he was right, that you didn't want me. And I got... scared. And confused. And honestly, with _everything else_ going on, I didn't exactly have a lot of time to focus on this particular issue and... I'm sorry. You're... a good guy, Magnus. You're amazing. You helped us from the get-go, no questions asked. You were there for me when I truly needed you and even when I wasn't ready to give you... anything... you still didn't... abandon me. You deserve be-"

"Oh, shut up", interrupted Magnus irritated. "If you finish that sentence, you are in serious trouble, blondie. Everything up to that, I absolutely agree with you. I am amazing. And so are you. The abuse you've suffered is _not your fault_. It's not your fault that he... None of that is your fault, Jace. I'm just so happy I found you after all this time and... I will _always_ do everything to be there for you, sweetheart. Because you're my soulmate. We were made for each other."

Subconsciously, the two of them leaned in closer and closer. Jace's eyelashes fluttered against his cheek as he looked deeply into his soulmate's unglamoured eyes, heart hammering in his chest.

"I... never believed in soulmates. I never believed that existed. That there would be _anyone_ who was... just made for me, specifically. Or that I was made for someone. But... you're everything I always wanted, Magnus. You're patient, kind, funny, sweet, generous, understanding... and not just in a general accepting way, but you actually _understand_, because you've... been through your fair share too, with... with your own father", whispered Jace. "When I'm with you, I feel... understood in a way I never did before. And I feel accepted. And if you'd give me the chance, I would... like to try and do the same for you too, Magnus."

"Oh honey", laughed Magnus and shook his head, cupping Jace's cheek. "I was so lonely before you and your lot came stumbling into my life. When you moved in with me, you... you helped me with my loneliness. You were there for me. You pushed me to get help after the... body-switch. I don't know if I'd gone and sought help on my own. You've been cooking me home-made meals, you made my loft feel like a home. You _are_ made for me, sweetheart."

Jace's breath hitched and he couldn't help but lean in fully, grabbing Magnus by the shirt and pulling him in until their lips met. He could feel Magnus smile against his lips. It felt so good, so natural, and Jace wanted _more_. He pulled Magnus closer and closer until Magnus was leaning over him on the bed, standing between Jace's legs. Jace wrapped his arms around Magnus' neck and his legs around the warlock's waist, as though he was desperate to keep Magnus in place. Which, admittedly, he kind of was. This felt so good and he couldn't believe he had lost so much time of this already, he wouldn't want to miss out on any more.

"Thank you", whispered Jace as their kiss broke.

"My, I wasn't aware I was _that_ good a kisser", chuckled Magnus teasingly.

He brushed his lips against Jace's jawline, slowly making his way down to Jace's neck. The Shadowhunter huffed and swatted at him, though he also tilted his head to bare his neck.

"I meant... Thank you for being patient. For giving me the chance to be comfortable enough with _myself_ so I could... give _us_ a chance", clarified Jace seriously.

"Thank you, for giving us a chance", countered Magnus and lifted his head.

He looked deeply into Jace's eyes for a long moment before he stole another kiss from his blonde. By the end of the kiss, Jace was fully laying on the infirmary bed and Magnus was practically on top of him. They adjusted to lay next to each other, closing their eyes after a long day. And if they were being honest, it was more than just a day. Years and years of waiting for _this_ finally ended.

_~*~ The End ~*~_

**Author's Note:**

> It said soulmates on the prompt list and my brain screamed JAGNUS RIGHTS! at me so... have another Jagnus! Though I know those weren't technically the first times they spoke with each other, but their first words at the club just didn't have the right impact. And it never really made sense to me why Clary and Jace went to give Magnus the necklace to begin with when Isabelle was the one wearing it like why didn't Izzy and Clary go...?


End file.
